lauren3210: (Default)
So, i've kind of been MIA for the past couple of months. I've missed birthdays, stopped commenting, stopped posting, just... stopped. See, my laptop stopped working (technology tends to do this around me, seriously, ask my family, they all agree it's the weirdest phenomenon); the screen suddenly decided to show me nothing but white fuzz, and while it worked when I hooked it up to the TV, that didn't really help much except for when I wanted to stream something to watch. So, no writing, no LJ scrolling, and no fic reading either (because I can't get that shit to work on my phone).

Then, Ben became ill, like, really ill. It turns out that his congenital hearing defect plus the accident he had as a child (he sliced his face off by falling through a window and had to have several reconstructive surgeries when he was a toddler) have combined to create a gaping hole behind his left eardrum, a hole that has now filled itself with a tumour. It's benign, which is a relief, but it's also still growing, and if it isn't removed soon it may start eating into his brain, so he has to have surgery. And it's a big one. They have to saw into his skull and remove the bone - from temple to an inch or so behind his ear, remove the tumour, then replace the skull. It's brain surgery basically, and we've all been kind of freaking out about it. Luckily, due to Ben's profession, we're not exactly going into this blind - my kids play with the kids of the surgeon who's going to be doing the operation - so we're a bit better prepared than others might be. But still, it's really freaking scary. Add to that my own operation - ablation for my women parts - and we're all kind of floundering a little bit.

And then, my Tumblr account unexpectedly blew up. Turns out, some (probably nice, I keep telling myself they're probably nice) person screencapped a post I wrote about Eryn 3 years ago about something cool she did at school once. So now, I'm being bombarded with hate messages, people telling me I'm a liar, that I'm an attention seeker, a bitch, I should fuck off and die, that my daughter should fuck off and die. Someone even told me I was fat which, while they're not wrong, was a little disturbing. Of course, I've also gotten some lovley messages of support too, but they're being buried by the hate. I've tried to look at it all pragmatically, because intellectually I know that anon hate is just a thing that people do because they can and that it's not really about me, but it's taken a bit of a toll. I find myself flinching a little whenever I log on, just waiting for the new influx of hateful things people have decided I deserve today. It's made me feel a bit nervous of fandom in general, actually.

BUT, now I have a new laptop that actually works (for the time being). I'm glad I managed to get it sorted out now, because I would have hated to have missed out on signing up for [livejournal.com profile] hd_erised ! So, now I'm going to catch up on some fics I've missed out on, and remind myself that fandom can be awesome! I've missed you guys!


WTF LJ

Apr. 5th, 2017 10:23 am
lauren3210: (Default)
So, like everyone else seems to be doing, I have made an account on DreamWidth and am in the process of importing my LJ posts over here. I hope I've done it right *fingers crossed*. I'm still figuring out how this new site works (is there a friends page? How do I find people?) but hopefully I'll work it out. With any luck I'll have done the crossposting thing right, so if you feel like following me over here, please feel free to do so - mainly because I suspect that it will be easier for me to find you guys that way! So yeah, do that.

I am currently dying of a cold that has lodged itself in my sinuses, and I feel like I am about to sneeze 100% of the time. But at least the weather's nice, so I am able to put my washing out on the line, which is nice. The girls are all gorgeous, horrible little brats as usual, and Ben is his usual grumpy asshole self, and absolutely nothing has changed in my life since my last post. When did I get so boring?
lauren3210: (Default)
Just a quick post to claim the two fics that I wrote for [livejournal.com profile] hd_owlpost this year:

Title: Ribbons and Bows
Recipient: [livejournal.com profile] kitty_fic
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 1586
Summary: Harry comes home from work to a prettily wrapped surprise.

Title: Grey and White
Recipient: [livejournal.com profile] vaysh
Rating: G
Word Count: 3 x 100
Summary: The world outside is grey and white.

Thank you to everyone who commented or recced or left kudos! And for those of you who have not yet seen the marvelous gift [livejournal.com profile] potteresque_ire made for me (and if not, seriously, where have you been? It's the bestest thing ever oh my God), here is a handy link: 9 Days of Snowmen. Go and scream about it and then leave lots of love!
lauren3210: (Default)

Happy Monday, everyone! I hope everyone had a good weekend? It's a good day for me, because I finally have my laptop back, yay!! *jumps up and down* I'd just decided that I was going to try and post at least once a week, even if it was only to say "I have nothing to say", because I'm trying really hard this year not to just withdraw and go quiet on people, and then my laptop broke. It took Ben a couple of weeks to get around to looking at it for me, but it's up and running again now - although just barely, and I'm going to need a new one soon. But at least I now have something to type on, even if I am frantically backing up everything I write to gdocs just in case the laptop dies permanently. So anyway, hi!

Reading woes (here, have a random rant):

Has anyone ever read something that has made them so angry they're speechless? Because I did that last night, and I'm still not over it. The book was written by one of my favourite m/m writers too, which made it doubly shocking. I tried really hard to get the anger out in a GR review, but then I stupidly read the other reviews and I got angry all over again! Basically, the MC's love interest is this emotionally abusive cuntweasel (a word I used a lot in my review, because it fit so eloquently), but for some reason everyone else seems to think that's hot. "He's so awesome, so patient, so sweet, why is this book so short I need more Jack!!" UGH, so gross. And I'm so mad about it.

Comment woes (less of a rant, more thinky thoughts):

I got another weird comment on my bonding!fic, Unexpected Consequences the other day:

Fantastic drarry. Hermione turning into a Draco fangirl was not my favorite though. In particular her making excuses at the Burrow was entirely offputting given Draco nearly killing Ron and being the reason a werewolf could maimed Bill for like. That was shockingly unbelievable in an otherwise epic fic.

Still all in all well done.

And at first I wasn't too bothered, because I thought the 'complaint' (for want of a better word) was written respectfully, and everyone's entitled to their opinion, so I just replied with my own and a 'thanks for reading'. But the more I think about it, the more uncomfortable I get, especially after I went back to the moment in question in the fic and reread it. Because all Hermione does is agree with Harry's reasons for agreeing to the bonding spell with Malfoy, and helps him come up with ways to make sure that no advantage is taken of him while in that position of powerlessness under Harry. That doesn't sound like a 'fangirl' to me, but just a basic decent human being who cares about people's rights - the rights of all people, not just the ones she thinks deserves them. And I guess it makes me a little uncomfortable to think about, because the Trio are meant to be these shining examples of humanity at its best, doing the right thing because it's the right thing to do, and if these people aren't supposed to respect whomever they come across, what does that say about us all? I just... can't stop thinking about it I guess, and I'm probably thinking way too deeply about one person's opinion of my stupid little fanfic, but I guess I just... don't understand.

Okay, now I'm gonna go do some work in the hopes of getting paid, and then try to read a book that won't give me a rage conniption! Have a great start to the week, guys! <33

2017 goals

Jan. 3rd, 2017 08:14 am
lauren3210: (Default)
Happy New Year everybody! I've decided to write down my personal goals for 2017, in the hopes that it will push me to complete them, so, here we go!

  1. Quit smoking. I'm currently on day 3 of this, and it's going quite well, actually. I'm getting moments where I desperately want a cigarette, of course, but they're not too often. It's also not as hard to write as I thought it would be - I chainsmoke when I write - so that's a definite plus!

  2. Quit Diet Coke/eat healthier. I am hopefully having an operation some time this year, and I want to be as healthy as possible for it - it's gonna hammer me to pieces as it is, I don't need to also be overweight and prone to illness too.

  3. Complete at least one room in the house. I always start decorating a room, and then move on to something else before finishing it, which means I have a bunch of half-finished rooms and it's driving me crazy. I'm going to do it this year, though.

  4. Finish an Original Story. I have about a dozen of these things hanging around, and my goal is to finish at least one, to the point where I can send it out for submission.

I also signed up for the GR reading challenge, and I put myself down for 200 books, which averages out at around 4 books a week. I'm hoping that at least some of these will be the ones still sitting on my TBR shelf, rather than jjust Kindle re-reads (I do that a lot).

I've seen a lot of you talking about Dreamwidth, and cross-posting there, just in case the server move does something nasty with our LJs. I'm going to look into that and see if it looks like something I can achieve without getting too frustrated.

I hope you all have a wonderful start to the year, and that 2017 is better for us all than last year was! <333
lauren3210: (Default)
Hello everybody!

Wow, it's been ages since I last posted, but with the exception of being busy with RL and busy writing gifts for various holiday fests, I haven't really had that much to say. It's all been same old, same old, you know? But now, with Christmas nearly here (fucking shit, I still have so much to do!), I thought I'd use this spare half hour I've found to have a chat with you guys! <3

The bad stuff first: It was Ben's office Christmas party on Friday, and it's always great fun. They rent out a hotel for the night, and we drink and dance and chat and drink some more, before stumbling up to bed in one of the rooms, and then we get breakfast with everyone in the morning before going home. And of course, because this is my life, my period started the morning of. So instead of partying with Ben's friends and colleagues, I was in and out of the loo and suffering cramps and generally feeling uncomfortable the entire night. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. Holidays, parties, anniversaries, weddings, you name it, I'll have my period on it, because my body hates me. UGH.

But that wasn't the worst of the night, oh no! I also went to get my hair cut, because I like to have my hair looking lovely and straight every so often, but my usual hairdresser wasn't there on Friday, so I got someone else. I asked him to cut off the bleached blonde on the end - he left an inch of it. I asked for long layers - he didn't clarify how long, and instead gave me basic layers. I asked him to blow dry it straight - instead he just ran a dryer through it and then brought out the straighteners for a full five minutes. The upshot is that I now have layers shorter than my chin, with an extra clump left at the bottom like some kind of fucked up mullet, with an inch of blonde at the ends of my very dark hair, and instead of my hair being silky smoth and straight, it was fluffy and fuzzy, with a middle part, something that I haven't had since I was 8 years old. It's an absolute fucking nightmare, and I washed it again as soon as I got home hoping that the curls would hide the worst of it, but it still looks completely horrific, so now I'm going to have to keep my hair up for the next 3 months until the layers grow out again. I seriously want to kill him, oh my God.

And the good stuff: I'm making a Christmas hamper for my mum as a present this year, and I went shopping to see if I could get everything, and I managed to get the whole lot, including the basket and the trimmings, in one trip! I am nearly done with ALL of my Chrsitmas gift shopping, and what I don't have yet I at least know what's left to get, so I'm feeling very accomplished right now.

I got some lovely gifts over at [livejournal.com profile] hd_owlpost! I'm waiting until the end of the fests to pimp them out, because I figure everyone's reading whatever they have time for right now, and will appreciate a few recs once everything's finished. But I adored them! One was a comment on one of my earlier fics, and it seriously made me cry, it was so fucking lovely!

I got a Christmas bonus this year, as my company has being doing well recently (it's been a few years since the last one) and we've decided to spend it on a holiday next year. We're still thinking about where to go - Eryn and I both fancy a Greek island, but the others are talking about the US. No offence guys, but I'd really rather be flying in the opposite direction to Trump if I can possibly help it.

I'm writing again! More specifically, I'm re-writing the original story that I lost earlier this year, which feels so wonderful. It was such a massive hit to my muse, and I've found it so difficult to concentrate on anything else, because the story has been nagging at me while my brain has been too busy crying over the loss to begin again, so the fact that I've been able to make a start has been a huge relief. Maybe I'll actually get to finish it next year!

I now have two days left to finish getting ready for Christmas, because we go to Ireland on Wednesday to begin our celebrations. Hopefully I'll get everything done in time, although I suspect I'll be taking stuff still unwrapped as I usually do every year. One of these years I shall become more organised! I won't be online much over the next ten days or so, so if my [livejournal.com profile] hd_erised gift posts during then, my comment may be a couple of days late, just as a warning.

I hope you all have wonderful holidays, and I'll see you all in the New Year! ♥ ♥ ♥
lauren3210: (Default)
Why oh, why is the onset of winter always heralded by viruses of every kind you can think of? Well okay, I know why, so nobody throw any science books at me, but ugh, I wish that just once I could appreciate the lovely colours and fresh breezes that the changing of the seasons bring without also wishing I was dead. Ben's been suffering from an ear infection that just won't go away, so I've had to suffer along with him while he's been at home the last two weeks. Eryn has got a hacking cough to rival that of the best chainsmoker, keeping us all up at night while she barks and barks until she almost throws up. Imogen has caught a stomach bug from somewhere, and has been spending the last three days sprawled across my lap and searing me with her fevered skin, and I can't breathe without needing to sneeze, or sniff, or cough, or just generally gargle snot until I drown in it. Madison is the only one who seems unaffected, and we all hate her quite a lot right now.

On the plus side, I have managed to start my [livejournal.com profile] hd_erised fic, after months of planning but without the actual words. Well, now I have words - not to mention an awesome alpha reader and cheerleader, whom I am going to owe the biggest present ever by the time I'm done. I also have another H/D fic in the works, which I might just post on its own - which I've never done before, all my previous fics have been either birthday gifts or fest submissions. Of course, I'm also busily planning my gifts for [livejournal.com profile] hd_owlpost, which I'll get around to writing once the Erised behemoth is completed. I've been writing more original fic too, my muse having finally returned after the 60k loss earlier this year. I'm struggling with a hundred different ideas, which is better than staring at a blank page wanting to cry, so, progress!

And, I think that's pretty much all I have to update, really, other than my RL being crazy busy lately. I know I haven't been around much, and I've missed you all, not to mention things like birthdays and mini fests and [livejournal.com profile] online_bookclub reviews and chats, and don't you just hate that feeling when you remember something only to find it's too late for you to do anything for it? Yeah, that's pretty much my life right now, which sucks, but it's looking like it might let up a bit soon, which will be great, because I'm really looking forward to reading all the lovely fics that always come out this time of year!

Hope you're all doing well, my flisties! ♥ ♥
lauren3210: (Default)
Hello everybody! Long time no see, I know, but I've been so fucking busy the past few months, something had to give and it had to be fandom, because life sucks, basically. I'm still only really here for a fleeting moment, but I really wanted to say a massive thank you to the lovely people who sent me birthday messages yesterday, especially those of you whom I know I missed doing exactly that recently with as busy as I have been. So, THANK YOU, my darling, lovely, wonderful friends, and replies to those messages are forthcoming, I promise!

I actually had a really nice birthday, despite the chaos in which I am currently living! I was taken out to dinner at a very fancy restaurant, and we even managed to encourage my teenager to come out of her bedroom for a few hours - which is a very big feat indeed. Eryn got her GCSE results through last week, and she did just as brilliantly as we'd expected, and since then there's been a flurry of activity in getting her ready to begin sixth-form college next week. Oh, and she got her eyebrow pierced, because heaven forbid she look ordinary. It actually goes quite nicely with her blue hair. Madison started at secondary school today, and so far, so good. They've placed her in a class filled with students from her old school, which they did on purpose in order to keep her comfortable. They're really pulling out all the stops for her, which is nice to see in our current education system - they don't usually work quite so hard. Hopefully, she'll settle in nicely. I've got my fingers crossed.

I'm currently struggling between two stories to write for [livejournal.com profile] hd_erised, and I haven't had time to bounce ideas off my beta yet, but I'm really hoping I'll find some time over the next couple of weeks. The good news is that I have at least written a couple k of each story idea so far, so there is some progress happening.

Aaaaand my time is up, because now the baby is calling for me and Ben needs me to iron something for him (men are the worst, I swear). So anyway, just a quick note to let y'all know I am in fact still alive, and to say thanks once again for such lovely birthday messages - every one of them made me smile!

Hope you're all doing great, my lovelies! <3
lauren3210: (Default)
Oh my God, I'm so excited for [livejournal.com profile] hd_erised, guys! I fucking love this fest, every year I've participated has been so much fun, and I can't wait to get down to it all over again! However, my brain being such a special place, the whole sign-up process leaves me feeling like I've just run a marathon backwards while juggling watermelons and singing a song in a language I don't even know. I'm ridiculous, tbh.

  1. First of all, last night I dreamt that I'd missed the sign-up time, because all of you lot (looking like your icons, btw, it was fairly awesome actually) kept tripping me up and poking me in my ribs while I tried frantically to type. ([livejournal.com profile] birdsofshore, your beak is really fucking sharp, mate. Ouch.)

  2. THEN I yelled at the kids to get out of the house so we could be back in time for 2pm, only for me to COMPLETELY forget until 1:58pm.

  3. I was in such a hurry that I dropped my laptop down the stairs, left it there and ran onto my kids' computer, nearly throwing the keyboard out of the window because I couldn't remember my bloody LJ password.

  4. I was like 2 minutes past 2pm, and already like a dozen spaces had been filled!

Jesus fucking Christ, people, how fast are you all?

Luckily though, I got in in time, only for my anxiety to shoot through the roof again when I got an email from the mods about something I'd left off the form, but of course the first thing I think is that they missed my comment the first count through and so I was out, or they've just decided they'd really rather I didn't bother them this year. This is nothing against the mods, btw, who are all wonderful, beautiful geniuses, it's just how my weird-ass brain works - I literally spent the first few months at university convinced that any second someone was going to come up and tell me they'd made a mistake and could I just save everyone some embarrassment and go home now, please?

But anyway, now the stressful part is over! (For me, anyway, I'm sure it's just getting started for our poor mods!) So, now I'm going to go bounce around my house while I wait for my assignment!

Have a great weekend, my lovelies! ♥
lauren3210: (Default)
It's been forever since I last posted on here, although I've been around, I just haven't had much to say. Also, I've been incredibly busy! You'd think that in the run up to summer holidays, things would begin winding down, but apparently, just when my brain has gone all sluggish in preparation for having the kids at home for a month and a half, the schools decide that this is the moment when they want me to do things! Ugh!

Eryn has finished all of her exams, and is now waiting impatiently for her results. She's been to her new college to have a look around and meet her new teachers, and has tentatively decided on her A level subjects, depending on what her results are: English Lit, English Lang, History and Sociology. However, considering the fact that this child wouldn't be caught dead reading a book, I think she's somehow decided that I'll be doing the work for her. Hmm... I had to organise her "anti-prom" (because she didn't want to go to the official one - she had no interest in wearing clothes she doesn't like, while listening to music she can't stand and talking to people she hopes never to set eyes on again), and she and her friends had a barbeque down by the canal, and they seemed to have had a great time. We're now in the process of bleaching her hair, because she wants to dye it blue/green, and she looks very weird with the current blonde - although she was born white-blonde, it's been a while since we've seen her with that colour. Also, she has a girlfriend, a really sweet girl who looks at Eryn as though she's hung the bloody moon. It's so cute!

Madison has done her SATs exams, and we should be getting those results soon. Because she's moving up to senior school in September, the past few weeks have been a flurry of school outings and parties, as well as visiting her new school to meet her new teachers. There was a bit of a fracas with that - one particular teacher who didn't yet know that Madison is on the Autism scale told her off for something, which ending in a bit of a meltdown, but thankfully it doesn't seem to have dulled her excitement. They're putting her straight into the Gifted and Talented teaching track, which has the double effect of being a bit quieter for her at the same time as giving her enough work to satisfy her, which should be good. She's got her prom next week, and we've still yet to buy her a dress for it, so we've got to go shopping this weekend. Maybe I'll get a second to myself in a few weeks' time...

Imogen has had their hair cut into a little pixie cut. We pretty it up with clips and bows for when she's a girl, and put gel in it when he's a boy, and so far they love it. Their school report came out the other day, and apparently Imogen is really intelligent... if they could just stop daydreaming long enough to actually do some work. I have no idea what to do with this child, tbh.

I haven't been doing much in fandom recently, because even when I do get the odd hour to myself, I haven't really been feeling it. (I am still betaing though - I haven't forgotten about y'all, promise!) Instead, I've been reading, and trying to update my GR account. However, considering I own at least 4,000 books and have read a bajillion more, it's kind of a losing battle, but I'm trying! I still haven't been doing much writing, although I do intend to join in with [livejournal.com profile] hd_erised - if I get in on time! Losing those 65k words has really knocked my muse about. I have written about 10k of a new original story, but I'm not sure if I like it enough to keep going. I think if I could just recreate what I lost, I might get my groove back, but so far, nothing is really grabbing me. Ugh, I feel so pathetic to be still whining about this months later.

And er, that's it, I think? See, this is why I haven't been posting - I have nothing to say! Maybe I've just become a really boring person - does that happen to everybody once 35 begins staring at you on the horizon? Ugh, I'm so old and pathetic and boring, and I think I'm turning into my mother. Can someone please kill me
lauren3210: (Default)
Wow, it seems like it's been ages since I've been on here! I haven't been avoiding everyone this time, though. It's just that the weather has been beautiful here recently (it's probably going to end up as our only couple of weeks of summer, because Britain sucks like that) so I've been outside as much as possible. Also, I haven't gotten around to going to see CA:CW yet, and I have been trying my best to avoid spoilers, so the internet has been a bit of a minefield in that respect. But anyway, here's what I've been up to recently!

Writing - I haven't been able to do very much, ever since I lost the 68k words of my OS a few weeks ago. Every time I try to recreate it, all I can think is that it was better the first time around, and I can't get more than a few sentences in before I delete the entire thing. I just don't think it's happening for me for a while yet. Which is a fucking shame, because I was kind of head over heels in love with that story. On the plus side though, I did manage to write a shortish fic for [livejournal.com profile] harrydracompreg, which is currently posting, and I quite liked how that came out, so that's progress, I guess? I've also started plotting out a potential prequel to the aforementioned Lost Story, in the hopes that if I can write that, then maybe my brain will let me rewrite the original in celebration. Who knows, man, brains are tricky little buggers.

Reading - I realised the other day that I have a ton of fics that I'd downloaded on to my Kindle and never got around to reading, so I've been going through those. I've also found a few new m/m authors that I really enjoy - and a few terrible ones, such is the crapshoot of this genre. I've read The Raven King, the last in The Raven Cycle series by Maggie Stiefvater, but I really need to read it again, because it was AWESOME. I also need to write a revamped post on Queer Rep in YA Fiction for a friend's book blog, now that the series is over, so that should be fun! Oh, and I've just managed to get my hands on a copy of The Martian Chronicles by Ray Bradbury form the library, for [livejournal.com profile] online_bookclub's May read. I have no idea if I'm going to like it though - scifi's not my favourite genre, unless it's tv shows anyway.

Parenting - So I have a picture to show you. A lot of y'all on my flist are also parents, so I know you know this phenomena we have about thinking our kids are the most gorgeous creatures to ever walk this earth. I mean, all babies are cute, and all kids are lovely, but our own babies have that something extra special, don't they? But sometimes, I take a picture of one of my girls, and the sheer beauty of them takes my breath away. I am, unfortunately, not much of a looker myself, but goddamn, I make fucking stunning looking children. Madison and I were playing with the features on her new phone, and I took a picture of Eryn (who turned 16 last month, send h e l p ), and this was the result:

Picture of my baby )
Like, omfg??? She should be on the Disney Channel or something, look at this precious angel I made from scratch. How she can possibly be shy when she looks like this I have absolutely no clue, but she is, which just makes her even more beautiful to me.

Okay, and that's it for me I think? Not much has been happening, except lots of sun which always makes me happy! Hope everyone else is feeling fine this lovely Tuesday morning! ♥
lauren3210: (Default)
I've been writing a book the past few weeks. For the first time in ages, I had the entire story mapped out in my head from start to finish, and every time I sat down to write, I knew exactly what I wanted to say and how to say it. I've been optimistic that THIS would be the time I would actually finish an original story. It was going great, I had 60k words written, and I was on the home stretch... and then Ben borrowed my laptop and closed down the word doc WITHOUT saving it, and now the entire thing is gone. SIXTY THOUSAND WORDS. Thinking about it even now is like a punch to the gut.

We took our kids to see my parents, because they came close to us on their new narrow boat, and my middle daughter fell backwards off the boat onto the tow path, and gave herself a concussion.

My eldest daughter is so stressed about her upcoming exams because the bloody school won't let her stay home for study leave that we had to rush her to hospital on Friday with a stomach ulcer.

And because all of this has been happening, I did my grocery shopping online, and they didn't deliver it yesterday. When I called to find out why, I got told that the delivery man knocked on the door and left a card when we didn't answer, but either he made that up or he went to the wrong address, because I was in the living room all day waiting for the fucker to get there and there is no bloody card.

And that was the point that I sort of just... broke. There I was, staring into the depths of my freezer and wondering what kind of meal I could make out of a bag of frozen peas and half a pack of mince, and I didn't even realise I was crying until Ben pulled me out of the kitchen and sat me down on the sofa. Which I then stayed sitting on, staring at the wall opposite for a good few hours. Funny how it's the little things that break you, isn't it?

You ever just want to meet God just so that you can junkpunch him? I kinda want to junkpunch God right now. Like, really fucking hard.
lauren3210: (Default)
lmao, I write a post to say "hey, I'm back!" and then I promptly disappear again, sorry about that! I have been trying to respond to more posts on my friends list though, so I guess I'm making progress, slow as it may be. But I've just finished another epic rewatch of the Lord of the Rings (it's a thing I do every couple of months, because I'm weird like that) and I'm about to start reading a new book, so I thought I'd take some time in between to talk about what I've been up to lately:

WRITING:

I haven't been writing much recently, or at least, I haven't finished anything. My head seems to be teeming with ideas at the moment, some fanfic, some not, and I write like a woman possessed for about 10k, and then I look at it and think, "what the hell am I doing, this is crap," and then I start something else. It's weird, and it's annoying, and I'm wondering if I should in fact have signed up for some fests if this is how I write when I don't, tbh.

PARENTING:

So, as you know, Eryn, my eldest, is getting ready to take her GCSEs in a couple of months, and she's doing really well in every class except History. Now, in this subject, her fairly new teacher downgraded her coursework from a C to an E; told the class the wrong thing to revise for their mocks (the results of which go on college applications); spends most of her time trying to control the class instead of actually teaching anything of substance, and gave my daughter an Attitude to Learning level 1 - the worst mark you can get, and the only one she has ever received, EVER. So, last week I went in to talk to the History dept. about Eryn's work, and after a bit of back and forth about how Eryn should do this and Eryn should do that, I got kind of annoyed, and brought up everything the teacher has done in the past 6 months to knock Eryn's confidence in general. And then we got into a fight:

ME: All I'm saying is, there seems to be a common denominator here, and it's not Eryn.
TEACHER: *scowling* Well, Eryn, what did you say to me in class yesterday?
ERYN: *shrugs* I don't remember.
TEACHER: *yelling* How dare you shrug at me?! That's so rude!
ME: *smacks hand on table* Excuse you very fucking much, that's not rude, that's a social anxiety tic, along with her shaking hands and her inability to make eye contact. And how dare you try to teach her manners when I'm sitting right here? That's MY job, your job is to teach her history, and so far you're sucking at it!
HISTORY DEPT HEAD: Um, okay, so, Eryn you work on your revision, I'm sure you're going to do great!
BOTH TEACHERS: *run out of the room*

Yeah, I scared away two women in their 50s. Apparently though, I am well known in the school for winning arguments - one teacher tried to pull Eryn out of class for wearing nail varnish, and her head of house told the teacher not to because, and I quote "you do not want to tangle with Eryn's mum, believe me. She nearly made me cry once." (I did do that, lolololol)

FAMILY STUFF:

I had a little bit of a panic attack over my parents this weekend. I'd never really thought about it before, because until Joe left for Australia last week (and a guy nearly died in the seat in front of him on the airplane, bless him), he's always lived with them, but when I couldn't get in contact with my mum for two days, I freaked the fuck out, because what if something had happened? I'm 150 miles away, Jo is halfway across the world, how the hell would I even know if they needed help? It was the first instance I had of realising my parents' mortality, and I ended up spending 3 hours on the phone with my mum this afternoon, alternating between sobbing down the line and yelling at her to be more careful (turns out they'd gone on their boat for the weekend and forgot to tell me OR take their mobiles, for fuck's sake).

Also, I've been suffering from sciatica pains (a pinched nerve in my left bum cheek, all the way down to the back of my knee), and the other day I woke up after having slept in a funny position, and I can't move my right shoulder without whimpering. I'm walking around like a hunchback with a limp right now, I look utterly ridiculous! However I did get VERY VERY drunk on Thursday, because it was St Paddy's Day, and it's a rule for us Irish folk. Ben and I went down to our local Irish pub, and Ben wore a pair of my green leggings. I tried to get a picture of his hairy ankles, but I was utterly trolleyed and they all came out completely blurred. And now I'm going to have to buy a new pair, because he completely stretched out the crotch area (which he is ridiculously proud of, because he's a gross boy). One of these days though, I'm going to stop just telling you about the stupid things this man does, and just provide actual documentation!

Anyway, that's what I've been up to lately, and now I'm gonna go read a book. I hope you're all doing wonderful things, my darlings! &hearts;
lauren3210: (Default)
Hey everyone!

I kind of disappeared for a while there, I know. I had a few low days, and although I came back up easily enough, somehow it's always a bit difficult getting back into the rhythm of things, you know? And then the longer it goes on the harder it gets, and so on and so on, but yeah, basically I've been feeling a bit out of the world for a while, and this post is just me trying to push my way back in. So apologies if I've missed birthdays or not left comments on anything. Know that I have been reading your posts though, I've just been finding it hard to know what to say in comments and things.

Random things happening right now... )

And, I think that's it for an update? Not much has really been happening, lol, but I thought this might be a good way to ease myself back into my fandom routine. How's everyone else? Enjoying 2016 so far?
lauren3210: (Default)
I've been thinking a lot about whether or not to join in with some fests this year. I signed up to quite a lot last year, and while every one was a lot of fun for different reasons, I'll admit to feeling a bit burnt out by the end of the year. So this year I kind of decided that I would only sign up to the ones I enjoy the most, both writing and reading, to cut back on some of the stess that I felt before. The only problem with this is that I kind of thrive on prompts. When I see one I like, the entire fic unfolds before me, and I get that itch to start writing. It's both a fantastic and frustrating feeling, because the stress comes from having to sign up and not knowing if I have the time to get it done.

What I'd really like, I think, is the option to jump in at the last minute, kind of thing? Like, if the prompt I liked hasn't already been claimed, and I find that I do have the time and end up writing it, I can just submit the finished fic to the fest? Does that make any sense? I've seen prompts at both [livejournal.com profile] dracotops_harry and [livejournal.com profile] harrydracompreg that I would love to write, I'm just... not sure I can fully commit, so I haven't signed up.

Idk, maybe my anxiety is just playing up at the moment, and I'm feeling the stress of signing up even before I actually do it, lol.
lauren3210: (Default)
Because [livejournal.com profile] gracerene challenged people to do this in one of her Snowflake Challenge posts! :D

I wrote a general likes/dislikes list at some time last year, but now that I’ve had time to think about it more, I think it’s time I updated, in a hopefully slightly more coherent way. Also, I decided to write two different lists: this one for Harry/Draco, because most of the people here on my flist are going to be more interested in that. I am going to include a few general do’s and don’t’s, but this is going to be mostly Harry/Draco centric. Also, it’s gonna be long, because apparently once I get myself started, it’s pretty difficult getting me to stop!

*This list is purely about my own personal likes and dislikes, and I am in no way judging anyone for liking to read or write things that are in direct opposition to those likes and/or dislikes. This is also mainly in case people are nice enough to want to write something tailored to my explicit tastes and want to know more, and should not be taken as more than that. :)

Read more... )
So um, that’s it, I think? There are other things that I have less intense feelings about, such as MPREG (don’t hate it, but don’t love it with a passion either) or Top/Bottom preferences (I have them, and I’ve written about them in a post still to come), but these are the main make-it-or-break-it points for fics that I am guaranteed to either love or hate. And the more I think about this subject, the more difficult I find it to express my thoughts in an easily understandable way. Which I guess makes sense, because while these may just be fictional characters, my feelings about them are very definitely real.
lauren3210: (Default)
Problems with writing slash for years and then suddenly switching to het and panicking about it:

  1. "Hang on, how can they be 'chest to chest' when there are breasts in the way? Oh, no, it's cool, they're squashy enough."

  2. "No no no, fingering is easier from the front, not the back, especially when clothes are still on."

  3. "WAIT. WHERE DID THE COME GO??"

Man, writing about dicks is so much easier, I think I'll go back to that, tbh.
lauren3210: (Default)
I haven't been around for a while, a combination of work, holidays, and terrible internet connection due to all the storms raging across the west of the country recently. You'd think that wouldn't affect cable, but apparently, you'd be wrong. Either that, or Virgin just sucks in general, I don't know. But anyway, I wanted to pop on here just to wish you all a very Happy New Year, and my hopes that 2016 is an awesome year for every single one of you! ♥

I've seen a few of you on my Flist talking about your fic writing stats, and they're all incredibly interesting to see! I'm going to wait a bit to look at mine, because I want to wait until after the various holiday fests have been revealed so I can talk about them, too. So for now, have a post about my New Year's Resolutions:

Last year, I had quite a few resolutions, and I managed to keep exactly ONE of them: stop biting my nails! Granted, it didn't happen until August, but I now have lovely long nails that can be painted, for the first time since I was 7 years old, so I'm feeling quite accomplished about that. I can even type with them, it's amazing!

So this year, I'm going for just one resolution: Stop Smoking. This is my first day without, and it's taken me about an hour just to write this post, because I'm so used to having a cigarette when I write anything. Which is frustrating, because I have ideas for at least 2 fics, and another original story that I want to write down. So, I have no idea how well this resolution is going to go, because at the moment I'm all determined and shit, but my need to write without struggling over it might win out, so we'll see?

Aaaand I'm gonna go now, because I accidentally read a McShep fic yesterday, and now I'm having serious Stargate: Atlantis cravings, so Netflix is calling my name. Chat soon, my lovelies! ♥ ♥
lauren3210: (Default)
So, I found a website that sells Converse Hi Tops in a range of different comic book characters, and I thought, hey, Eryn loves BOTH of these things so much, how about I spend loads of money on them for her for Christmas? But, I wanted it to be a surprise, so instead I asked Madison to go in and ask her if her fave was either The Joker, or Harley Quinn, because I couldn't remember. And what was Eryn's response? "shut up and go awaaaaayyyyy!"

Nice. See if I get you anything for Christmas now, you absolute buttface.

Sigh. I'm sure I wasn't this difficult as a teenager. But then again, my mother would probably tell a completely different story...
lauren3210: (Default)
Okay, so I'm meant to be writing, but I'm just so wound up that I feel like I could explode at any moment, so instead I'm coming on here to vent my frustrations. Um, sorry in advance?

Read more... )

On a slightly happier note, let me tell you something that Ben did over the weekend. He's a bit of a weirdo, okay, and there are times when I wonder who thought it was a good idea to give this overgrown child an actual medical licence. But anyway, on Sunday he decided to play a prank on our two youngest, by filling the water filter jug with weak lemon squash and insisting that it was in fact his own pee and then drinking it in front of them. Cue screams of disgust from everyone close by, followed by my 5y/o running off to find me, where she says, "Mama! Quick, take your [engagement] ring off, he's a very weird man!" Like, she was SO CONCERNED for me that I might actually marry a man who drinks his own pee, and desperately wanted to save me from the 'weird man'. I think I cracked a rib laughing.

Okay, venting over, and back to your usual viewing schedule.

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