I loved this post. I think about this stuff all the time. And I share your preferences/attraction to mouthy, brainy dudes being the "bottom" (or physically submissive no matter the actual penetrative act position) and the muscly/more grounded dude being the "top" (or sexually aggressive) - with the exception of H/D.

I used to prefer Draco to be the more passive partner but now I vastly prefer him to be the more aggressive, active partner. In my case, it's definitely because I identify with Draco and have lately been more attuned to my own sexually dominant orientation. But I also identify more with Arthur than Eames, and more with John Blake than Bane, so why would I continue to see those characters as being sexually more passive? I dunno.

I'm just inarticulately echoing what you've said here because it resonated with me, I'm not sure I have much to add, haha!