lauren3210: (stucky steve)
Ohmygod, I haven't written a proper post in ages, and I've been so enormously busy, but a thing happened earlier today and I just had to come and tell you all about it, so!

It was my kids' last day of school today before their break up for the summer holidays, and my little brother came up to spend a few days with us and surprise the kids when they get home. So, me and Joseph are in the kitchen while I'm making dinner, chatting away about stuff I can't even remember, and I say to him, "I'm telling mum you wear her drapes." Which is just a stupid Avengers joke and not even all that funny, but for some reason it makes Joseph crack up laughing, and then suddenly he's choking on a piece of carrot. So I start screaming for Ben (because I panic in emergencies, I'm terrible with them, please never have one near me because you'll probably die) and he comes running out of the shower, still with shampoo in his hair, skids into the kitchen and performs the heimlich maneuver. The piece of carrot shoots across the room, and I lean in close, holding Joseph's face in my hands because he's bright red and crying, and I ask if he's okay, and he says, "I'd be better if your husband's cock wasn't jammed up against my arse," and THAT'S when Eryn, my eldest child, opens the front door and walks in, with about five of her friends from school. So there we are, my brother bright red in the face with tears streaming down his cheeks, Ben completely naked and covered in suds and holding onto him from behind, and me stroking Joseph's face and breathing really hard, and Eryn just looks at us, then at her friends - who are all just standing there staring at us - and she says, "this is actually a tame day for them, wait til you see what they're like when they're drunk," and then she backs them all out and shuts the door again.

So basically, does anybody fancy becoming a member of my family? Because I'm almost certain that there'll be an opening once Eryn gives up on us and refuses to admit to having a family quite this embarrassing.

What even is my life.
lauren3210: (merthur)
Title: Percy at the Bat
Author: Cori Lannam
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 743
Warnings: bottom!Merlin; gangbang.
Summary: Merlin gets gangbanged in verse. Originally written for "Casey at the Bat" in the Myth and Legend challenge in Summer Pornathon 2012.

Why I'm reccing it: BECAUSE IT'S WRITTEN IN VERSE. Seriously, VERSE. Rhymed, iambic heptameter (mostly), fucking VERSE. I'm crying it's so fucking perfect. Go read it NOW, even if you don't do Merthur, just to be amazed by the sheer genius of this ficlet!
lauren3210: (Default)
Because everyone else is doing it, and I'm taking a break from betaing, so why not? Shamelessly stolen from absolutely everyone, but mainly [ profile] kitty_fic, because she did it first. (At least on my flist, anyway.)

memes memes memes )

Ah yeah, have a peek into my particular brand of crazy, it's such fun being me sometimes, haha! Love you all, my flisters! <3
lauren3210: (merthur)
I have really vivid dreams a lot of the time, and they're usually a bit strange, full of bright colours and patches of darkness and stuff like that, but last night I had one of the worst nightmares I've had in a long while. So I thought I'd tell y'all about it, so you can see just how weird my brain actually is!

So there's this carnival, right, but it's old, everything rusted and peeling paint, old bits of wood. But all the rides are sort of crammed together, so you can step from the carousel to the swing chairs and on and on. And also, it's on a train, a train that keeps speeding up and slowing down really quickly, going over hills and down sharp slopes and stuff. Basicaly it's like an entire carnival has been crammed on top of a roller coaster, but with a roof, and on top of the roof is a shed and some other outhouse type buildings, it's all very weird. So I'm in the middle of this abandoned and crammed together carnival, having to hold on tight when the bloody train/roller coaster goes round a bend and banging into stuff when it slows down with no warning. And whenever I step up to the edge, it's always going really really fast, and I look down and can see the ground whizzing past below me so fast it's just a blur. And that, to me, is scary enough, really. I mean, how many creepy horror stories have involved abandoned carnivals, right? But oh, no, my brain has to go and make it so much worse, because there's also this creepy almost life sized doll following me around. It looks like a marionette, with the freakily painted face and wooden hands, only there aren't any strings and it keeps uttering this really high pitched laugh whenever it gets close enough to touch me, and I keep running and hiding and falling and banging into things, and I end up having to climb one of the chains for the swing chairs, which is ridiculous because I could never climb rope in gym class, I'm far too bum heavy. But I manage to get to the top of this chain, and I'm holding on for dear life while the train/roller coaster... thing flies round another bend, and I risk a glance down, and that fucking doll has climbed up right behind me, and is reaching out to grab my ankle.

And that's when I woke up.

My head is such a fun place to be sometimes. Anyway, just thought I'd share! :)
lauren3210: (merthur)
Alert the press! Call the media! Because yes, it's true! The fic I have been wrestling with for a fortnight - and complaining about vociferously - has finally come to an end! Hallelujah praise the Lord, amen. Actually, let's give thanks to St Patrick, because the luck of the Irish was definitely with me today!

So, as I'm sure you'll all be pleased to hear, that's one fest fic down and three to go, and unless I get conked on the head and lose my brain entirely, there'll be no more whining from me, because - shocked gasp - I actually know what I'm doing for these ones!

And now I'm off to celebrate with a pint of Guinness and a gaelic word game with my mother, and whoever stumbles first has to tackle my mountainous ironing pile! (I may have been practising for just this very moment tbh.)

HTML help?

Dec. 20th, 2014 02:17 am
lauren3210: (Default)
Dudes, how do I put an LJ cut in a comment? Like, I thought if I just typed in the HTML code for it, that would work, but it doesn't, so either I'm doing it wrong, or there's something special that you have to use which is probably really obvious but I can't figure it out because HTML makes my brain very very confused. So, can anyone tell me how this commenting miracle is achieved? Is there a particular deity to which I must offer sacrifice?
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