rambly post is rambly

[lauren3210]

It feels like ages since I've posted anything! I've been busy writing fics for all the fests I signed up to, but I've also been feeling a little bit down recently. Nothing too serious, I just haven't been my usual, slightly manic self. I long ago came to the realisation that one of the worst things about bipolar disorder is that there's never any logical reason for the mood swings, but that doesn't stop me from getting frustrated with myself over it. So I did what I usually do when this happens, and retreated into fiction, and this time I chose to rewatch a lot of past favourite series. And that led me to some thinky thoughts on the different ways I ship, so I'm going to ramble on about that under the cut:


Does anyone have any ships that they don't actually ship in canon? I decided to rewatch both Stargate: SG-1 and Stargate: Atlantis, because aliens and Daniel jackson and Jason Momoa with his dreadlocks are all good things that make me happy, and while watching, I realised that the ships I had come to associate with these series I don't actually ship while I'm watching. I mean, sure, there's a few moments where I'm shouting at the screen, "now KISS!", when Jack's being tortured and he thinks he's dreaming about Daniel, or when Rodney is losing his memories and the last thing he holds onto is John while everything else slips away (I mean, for real, how can you NOT ship that?), but other than that, I just enjoy the show's plot and the friendship between these guys for what it is. And it was kind of a revelation for me, because there are so many other shows I watch where I get so cross at all the heteronormativity being blasted at me, but for some reason there are some that I'm completely fine with. Weird, huh?

Harry and Draco are like that for me, which I started thinking about after reading gracerene's post on her reread of Goblet of Fire. Because I don't ship them at all in the books. I mean, yeah, I might squeal a little bit when Harry is "rapidly becoming obsessed with Malfoy," and I might occasionally think to myself, "all this hair pulling has got to end up in sex at some point," but otherwise, I don't think anything of it. I don't think JKR should have written it differently, I don't sigh in despair over the heteronormativity (well, I kinda do, but only in that bloody epilogue, and for reasons completely separate from any Harry/Draco feels).

I mean, even as a Steve/Bucky shipper in the MCU movies, I was totally fine with the fact that Bucky wasn't mentioned in Age of Ultron, even though most of the people I know who also ship that ship are going crazy over it (because apparently it means that Steve's characterisation was shat all over, or something).

So although I can't work out why this is, it turns out I have some ships where I am perfectly happy to sit back and watch the show as is, and then scamper off into fanon land and play around with my ships there. And I can't work out the difference between John/Rodney and Dean/Castiel, and why I get so cross over the latter not being canon but am perfectly fine with the status quo of the former.

Anyway, thinky thoughts.


In other news, I've finished writing my last fest fic! It's sitting with a friend right now, who will hopefully tell me in a few days where it's shit and where it's not so bad, and then I can hand it in and I'm done! Do you know, I have written SIX stories so far this year? The word count for all of them adds up to over 100k, good God. Thankfully though, I now have a little time to let my fingertips grow back, so yay for that!

In other other news, my eldest turned 15 last week! I kind of hate it, because a second ago I had this red faced squalling little bundle in my arms, and suddenly there's this young woman in front of me, with boobs bigger than mine and a penchant for piercings. Which was one of her birthday presents: she got an industrial scaffolding piercing in her ear, so now she has a massive bar sticking across it. It looks good, actually, and I'm now thinking about having it done myself. The next body modification on her list is a lip piercing, but she has to wait until she leaves school to get that, so I have a little breathing room. Who the fuck said kids were allowed to grow up? Someone make it stop, because I don't like it!

Anyway, merry month of May to my flisters, I'm really enjoying reading all your daily updates! <3

Comments

[indyonblue.livejournal.com]

Sorry you've been a little down lately

I've been slightly envious of all your writing - I haven't written a word since Big Bang and I seem to have lost all my writing mojo! But at least I have your wonderful stories to read :)

And yay - Metallica! I haven't listened to them for sooooo long. May have to introduce my boys to them!

[lauren3210.livejournal.com]

Some of these fest fics have been like pulling teeth, tbh, so I don't think I'll be signing up for so many again. But ultimately it was kind of fun!

And yes, introduce your boys to the wonders of Metallica!

[capitu]

15! Happy Birthday to your eldest! :)

I'm sorry you've been feeling down lately, darling. *snuggles* I'm glad you're here though even if at the time I have nothing interesting to say. <33

[lauren3210.livejournal.com]

Thanks darling, I shall pass along the blessing!

It's not been too bad really, just been feeling a bit... bleugh, you know? But I'm starting to feel a bit better now! *snuggles back*

[writcraft]

I'm sorry you've been down of late. Well done on getting work done on the fest fics :)

I wonder if the ship thing has to do with how that ship is actually presented in canon. For example in the case of Dean/Castiel and Johnlock (in Sherlock BBC) because the creators are engaging with fandom, I feel there's sometimes an element of queerbaiting perhaps? Of 'teasing' the fans with a 'never going to happen' relationship? And that makes me get a bit huffy because I'm a control freak and I don't enjoy being teased :D - I have to say that's true of big het relationships that the creators tease you with too, but the difference being in those cases they often do go there which is why I think ramping up the same kind of tension in a slash relationship without being willing to go there is kind of marginalising and frustrating.

With Harry and Draco it's pretty clear JKR isn't trying to tease her fans with any kind of will they/won't they. They won't. I think it's pretty clear as a reader she's not setting them up in that way, and so it's not something that you are 'teased' with happening in the same way as the ships mentioned above. Like you, I don't wish they had been written in a relationship and nor do I wish she had given us more hints of subtext beneath snark. I actually think the textual background we have for those two is perfect for some delicious enemy!slash in post war canon. Oddly, the ship I was annoyed about which isn't even my primary one was Remus/Sirius, as that is the slash ship I would argue was canon with a straight face before Tonks/Remus.

[lauren3210.livejournal.com]

That's a really good point, actually, especially in regards to Dean/Castiel - it's most definitely queerbaiting, imo. I would also argue right along with you about Remus/Sirius; I was actually really confused when HBP came out and suddenly there was some Tonks/Remus there, because I'd assumed Sirius/Remus had been a subtextually canon ship.

Hmm, you've given me something to think about here, thanks!

[gracerene]

Interesting thoughts! I agree that I don't ship Harry/Draco all that much in canon, and I actually think it would take away a lot from the story if JKR had them get together at all. I'm much happier with fanfic for exploring that dynamic.

For me, I think a lot of it depends on how their relationships are handled in canon, and how other relationships with the characters are portrayed. Like (I'll use an MCU example, since I just watched AoU), I totally ship Steve/Tony and I think they have far and away the most interesting and compelling on-screen dynamic, but I love Pepper and I'm generally really pleased with how her and Tony's relationship has been portrayed, so I'm content to get my Pepper/Tony fix in the movies, and my Steve/Tony fix with fic. Whereas in shows like Merlin and Teen Wolf, I think the canon het relationships (like Gwen/Arthur and Stiles/Derek with women) are uninteresting/no chemistry, poorly written, and often uncomfortably problematic, so that, by contrast, their slashy chemistry makes me crave some actual fulfillment in the show. Does that make sense?

[lauren3210.livejournal.com]

Oh, that's a good point, about how well the other relationships are written, I hadn't thought of that! In Stargate, the obvious ship is Jack/Samantha Carter, but because of their military positions, everyone knows while watching that nothing is ever going to come of it. So I'm happy enough watching no ships on my screen and then wandering off to find some fanon based fics. I think you've actually hit the nail on the head with your thoughts!

And LOL don't even get me started on the Stiles/Malia ship because NOPE - although it kind of makes me laugh that the writers took the basic elements of what made Sterek so popular and then applied them to two separate het ships. I think TW is a really good example of how pervasive heteronormativity is within our society: here is an openly gay writer who has spoken about wanting to create something where queerness is visible, but still keeps all the main characters for the het ships, because apparently those are the only important ones.

[tryslora]

I am much the same way where shipping is concerned. Like I'm actually okay with Sterek not being canon (my not being a fan of some of the canon ships has nothing to do with Sterek and everything to do with character development). I ship John/Rodney in the few fics I've read, but in the show, not at all. But I'm with you on Dean/Cas, but given that I'm watching that series right now, I think I can answer why.

For me, Dean/Cas is shown far too deeply to ignore in canon. When I rewatch things from other shows, it's all small hints, little scenes. I keep seeing Dean/Cas, to the point where if I jab my finger at the screen, even my husband sees it. So it's a different feel within the show to me. This may change when we start season 6 (we finished s5 the other day and will be starting s6 after all the current TV finales soon), I don't know. But it's what I'm observing.

OR, conversely, it might be that I saw things to make me wonder about shipping it before I saw the show. Which is different from watching the show and developing the ship idea.

But generally, I enjoy canon as separate from shipping (like Derek/Jackson, my first TW ship, but I never would have expected that to be canon, but I write it constantly).

And on kids growing up? My eldest is 17, finishing her junior year of high school, looking at colleges, and has been dating the same boy for over two years and he's going to college in the fall. She has her license, is always out and about she has so much going on, and I just... I just... she's this small adult in my eyes. And I don't know what happened.

[lauren3210.livejournal.com]

Yeah, my husband also occasionally rolls his eyes and wonders loudly why Dean and Cas don't just get a room, it's incredibly obvious. Also it was actually supposed to be canon, as Anna was originally meant to have been the angel that went against Heaven for Dean. So I think a lot of what you see between them in s4/5 is from where Anna and Castiel had their character arcs switched last minute (due to the fandom's immediate liking of Misha Collins) and so the romantic undertones were left in place (Dean and Anna were meant to have driven off together in the Impala to carry on hunting together at the end of s5, but when Castiel took her place, they had to find another end game for Dean, because no homo, which is why Lisa was suddenly dragged back in from nowhere).

Most of my ships, I think I enjoy in fanon, and don't worry about the canon aspects of it at all. But there are a few where I watch the show and just think, if you lot weren't such massive homophobes, you would have such an epic ship on your hands. And then I get cross, and I have to stop watching for a while, lol!

And omg, 17! I don't know what I'm going to do when she finally hits that age - she's already far too grown up for my liking. How do we make this growing up thing stop?

[tryslora]

I am so behind in answering comments. *headdesk* Everything just got away from me, and while I'm often tempted to just ignore the ones that are like a month old, I just have to say that what you say makes SO MUCH MORE SENSE out of the end with Lisa. I mean, I could rationalize it, but it felt weird. Even knowing that that was basically the original "end" of the series.

We haven't yet made it past season 5 due to time not being on our side. As my husband said the other night, summer is for Supernatural for us; we shall get there.

Sadly the growing up thing does not stop. My husband is already trying to prepare me for when she goes to college in a year (GAH ONLY ONE YEAR) and stops texting me to say goodnight every time we're not in the same house. Because he's right, I will totally freak out when I don't hear from her constantly. I just do my damnedest to keep in touch and keep the kids comfortable talking to me. I figure it's basically all I can do right now to make the future easier/better.

[nia_kantorka]

Hope you are feeling better soon, hon!

Even before Rectober I learned that I'm able to ship ships I've never thought or heard about. And sometimes I dive into a fic there were some intruiging recs. I read a Suits fic yesterday because you recced Needs Must in October. And I still haven't seen a single episode of suits (just some trailers and pictures). Works even so. :D

Or take Arthur/Eames from Inception. Those guys have about what... 2 minutes screen time together. I really needed to look who was who because I remembered the story but nobody's names. Well, their little screen time makes them perfect for shipping (and I assume writing about them). It's fun to read all the strange AUs out there. :D

...my husband also occasionally rolls his eyes and wonders loudly why Dean and Cas don't just get a room, it's incredibly obvious.
Mine rolled his eyes about Sherlock and John when we started to watch the bbc series. LOL

Wait, what did I want to tell here. Ah, yes, sometimes I see the pairing in canon (Merlin, Sherlock...) but it doesn't bother me at all, when their not on screen/in the book(s) (Harry/Draco, Inception...). It's fabulous that fandom is able to change everything. We can be megalomaniacal that way without hurting someone. :D

[lauren3210.livejournal.com]

I admit that I have to know a little something about the characters before I can jump right in and read fic about them, unless it's a total AU that I can treat as original fic while I'm reading. But I'm really glad you're enjoying the suits fics (Suits fanon is better than canon, pass it on)!

I'm glad that you don't ever get annoyed by certain ships not being made canon, but I can't help myself. As a member of the queer community, it hurts me that I'm never included, that I'm never a main character with an awesome storyline (although yooooo, The 100 has just changed that by having a bisexual main character, what up). As much as I love what fandom is able to do to correct that mistake, I don't see it as us having the opportunity to be megalomaniacal without hurting anyone, because who would it hurt if we saw it on screen? I mean sure, maybe some homophobes would be uncomfortable, but they're assholes, and they deserve a lot more than discomfort imo, lol!

[amorette.livejournal.com]

Oh I totally ship H/D in canon :D I don't think JKR should have written it differently either though, I'm quite content to have all the shippy feels be like my own secret special reading of the books <3

[lauren3210.livejournal.com]

That's cool, and I do that myself for many books that I've read in the past - queer goggles can be such fun, haha! I guess I have 3 types of ship: 1) I ship it in canon and want it to become canon (Stiles/Derek); 2) I ship it in canon but am okay with it not being canon (Merlin/Arthur); and 3) I don't think about it in canon but ship it in fanon only (Harry/Draco). If that makes sense, lol.

[amorette.livejournal.com]

That makes total sense!! I like how you've split it up in to categories like that actually. I really really like that and want to refer to those categories now.

I would say Drarry is #2 for me then.