Top/bottom Sexual Dynamics and My Preferences

[lauren3210]

I’ve been thinking about writing a post about this for quite a while, mainly because every time I sign myself up to a gift fic fest such as hd_erised, I am never entirely sure what I want to say when it comes to my preferences. I mean, if anyone were to ask me which I prefer, I would say Top!Harry/bottom!Draco, however, some of my favourite H/D fics ever feature explicit Top!Draco/bottom!Harry, and I’ve been trying to figure out why that is for the longest time. And so, as I’m currently in the home stretch of my Erised fic and have a lot of other projects that could do with some time being spent on them, I am of course procrastinating terribly by thinking about this instead so, here I am!


As a multi-fandom shipper with a lot of ships under my belt, I tend to skip from one to the other during my fic reading time, and I’ve started to notice a bit of a pattern: I prefer the mouthy guy in the relationship to be the bottom. It’s not always the case, but in general that seems to be my preference. For example, I like my Sterek fics to feature a sarcastic, smart-mouthed Stiles, and a grumbly and frustrated Derek only managing to get him to shut the fuck up while he’s fucking him into incoherency. I like a Merlin running rings around his confused and irritated Arthur until Arthur pins him against a wall and sticks his tongue down his throat. I like a Steve McGarrett who is completely hypnotized by the movements of Danno’s hands during his many angry rants, until he pins those flailing hands behind Danno’s back. I like a Bucky who finds Steve’s sassy comebacks hilarious until they're directed at him, and then he needs to find another use for that mouth. I like a prim and put together Arthur who can only be reduced to a sweaty, blushing mess when Eames is whispering dirty things into his ear.

So it seems that, in general, I like the big, muscled, sometimes not entirely human, guy being pulled around by the chest hair by their sarcastic, mouthy, sometimes slighter counterpart. Or, in other words, I like the more physically capable guy fucking the more mentally capable guy, because that’s the only time in the relationship when they can get the upper hand. Maybe it’s because I recognize something in them about myself and my own relationship, I don’t know, but it does seem to be my thing. Everyone’s got their preferences though, I guess.

But there are some ships that just don’t fit that mold, and H/D is the most obvious one. I mean, you could possibly break them down into their simplest forms for them to fit – if all Harry was was a Quidditch player, then he could be the muscled guy, and Draco could be the mouthy sarcastic guy – but trying to do that feels very wrong to me, because that’s not how I see them at all.

As much as I believe that a person’s sexual preferences have nothing to do with how they act in real life – unassuming in the boardroom does not automatically translate into a submissive in the bedroom, nor does it mean the opposite – I do think that in fiction, sexual dynamics can be a useful tool for highlighting a character, or a relationship. And I think that this is what trips me up when it comes to H/D; because there are so many fanon interpretations of their relationship that my preferences fluctuate too much for me to generalize them. Unlike the vast majority of my other ships, who are at the very least friendly with each other (if not best friends) canonically, in the books the most civilized Harry and Draco get with each other is when they actively ignore each other, so there's really not much there for me to get a baseline for their romantic interactions.

So I think that, when my initial response is to say I prefer Top!Harry/bottom!Draco, I am actually trying to fit them into a generalization that I have made for myself through reading about other ships. Harry, with his ‘jump first, think later’ attitude, is more likely to fit the ‘physically capable’ role, and Draco, with his calculating schemes, is more likely to fit the ‘mentally capable’ role, and so my brain automatically slots them into those places. The only problem is that they can, and do, fit both of those roles depending on the story being told (maybe Harry’s an Auror, or maybe Draco is, or Harry’s a little bit lost post-war, and Draco’s a damn dragon-tamer), and so the sexual dynamic tool is used in a multitude of ways, because that is the beauty of story-telling.

So, at the end of my rambling musings, I guess my answer to the question of what my preferences are should be this:

I truly don’t care, as long as the sex fits the relationship, and the relationship fits the story.


Okay, I’m gonna go write now, because I’ve procrastinated long enough (damn it). Back to your regularly scheduled Friday night on LJ!

Comments

[gracerene]

Interesting! I totally had this "discussion" with myself a few years ago, when I was trying to figure out if I had a pattern to my preferences. Because I read widely in multiple fandom, and while I enjoy switching a bunch, I also almost always have a preference for who tops, sort of a push-comes-to-shove, what would I prefer to read. For me, I've realized that almost exclusively my preference tends to line up with the more morally ambiguous/evil of the pairing being the one fucking the good one. In some cases, it's pretty obvious, like with Draco/Harry and Loki/Thor, and in some cases it's a lot subtler and maybe influenced more by how I view the characters, like with Spock/Kirk (While definitely not evil at all, Spock is colder and more logical) and Adam/Ronan (Again, nobody's evil, but even though Ronan's more abrasive, it's totally hiding a cuddly heart, and Adam is more ambitious etc).

[capitu]

LOL I love that you're thinking about this stuff. I won't even say you should be writing. :D

I had never tried to rationalise why I like one way better than the other, but something you said sort of ran true with me:

I prefer the mouthy guy in the relationship to be the bottom.

Is that why I had my bottom!Draco preference? I'm not sure, but I do like that sort of dynamic VERY much. :D

I obviously love reading both b!H and b!D, but I was just telling Grace how I've been missing more bottom!Draco this year, because with the absence of smooch fest, it kind of feels top!Draco has dominated my reading time – not a bad thing, just, yeah, as preferences go, what can I say, I have a spot for bottom!Draco all right. ;)

[oceaxe.livejournal.com]

I loved this post. I think about this stuff all the time. And I share your preferences/attraction to mouthy, brainy dudes being the "bottom" (or physically submissive no matter the actual penetrative act position) and the muscly/more grounded dude being the "top" (or sexually aggressive) - with the exception of H/D.

I used to prefer Draco to be the more passive partner but now I vastly prefer him to be the more aggressive, active partner. In my case, it's definitely because I identify with Draco and have lately been more attuned to my own sexually dominant orientation. But I also identify more with Arthur than Eames, and more with John Blake than Bane, so why would I continue to see those characters as being sexually more passive? I dunno.

I'm just inarticulately echoing what you've said here because it resonated with me, I'm not sure I have much to add, haha!

[ldydark1.livejournal.com]

I am very relaxed about who tops and bottoms. It can be either Harry or Draco. Sometimes I generalize Harry being a bottom, because he is shorter than Draco. But seriously, I don't mind or have a preference who tops or bottoms. As long as it fits the fiction being written by the author. ****** I do have a hard time, when the author writes that Draco is shorter than Harry. I find that in older H/ D fictions, especially over at fanfiction.com, which I rarely frequent anymore. ***** That is hard for me to visualize and accept. Throughout the fiction, my mind keeps protesting and telling me that Draco is taller than Harry. *****

[ldydark1.livejournal.com]

Oh, I agree with you. ' Although not by too much, maybe a couple of inches, vaguely' , that is how I 'see' Draco in height. **** I was a newbie when I discovered fanfiction.com, then I left it for the site called ' Restricted Section' , back in 2007, I think. Then I discovered that a ton of writers who wrote at Restricted Section, had their bases at Live Journal, which I joined eagerly.

[birdsofshore]

This is a very important topic and obviously takes precedence over writing erised ;)

When I joined fandom I thought this topping and bottoming preference thing was weird and childish. I was so above that.

HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA.

I am such a dick.

It took me a while to realise that I had a preference for Top!Draco, and longer still not to feel ashamed about that. I think I'm getting worse, though. I used to just prefer it, then STRONGLY prefer it, but this year I read the most perfect fic which was everything I adore and the dynamic between them was so perfect and it was also so well-written... and then HARRY TOPPED. OMG, I was honestly really AFFECTED by it. It genuinely upset me and I had to stop reading for a while. I had been so immersed in the story and then that happened and... ugh, I was a mess.

I tried to pick it apart afterwards, and I think it wasn't so much the actual fact of penetration (I seriously HOPE not, because I don't want to become one of those people who leaves prompts saying "ON NO ACCOUNT MUST A PENIS TOUCH DRACO'S BODY"). I think it was the (to me) sudden and OOC personality switch that came with the sex. I like the sex to reflect their characterisation and the dynamic between them, and I'm not talking about one being 'the girl' or 'the weak one'. I mean something like a need for control, or a need to give up control. A need to submit / dominate, or to be the aggressor maybe? If that gets flipped around without warning and without justification then I'm left feeling unhappy.

Conversely, I can read stories where Draco likes to bottom, where Draco is the sub, where they switch, whatever, as long as the characterisation fits and I can make it mesh with my view of the pairing. I've also WRITTEN bottom Draco, lots of times, and it's usually my head canon for them when they first start fucking if they're still young. I like to write inexperienced!Harry, and experienced!Draco, and I often imagine Draco would let Harry fuck him first, partly because it will just be easier, more pleasurable, and less likely to freak Harry out, haha. But in my mind he's totally doing it as a stratagem to get Harry hooked, not because he secretly desires the hero to take him up the arse.

I'm making no sense. I am a mess of contradictions. Basically, what I beg is, don't give me a delicious Toppy!Draco and then have him turn feminine or weak in the bedroom. Not that I think bottoming is feminine or weak. OH GOD I CAN'T EXPLAIN LOLOL.

I really should go and write my erised as well :D

[nia_kantorka]

Mmmh, I've been reading fics for more than 3 years now and still prefer my characters to switch. Often there are stories where it's fitting if one character tops more or bottoms more because of the dynamics/ their relationship and that's absolutely fine. I find it annoying though when sex scenes are always the same (and it's a story with lots of sex). Actually, I prefer stories with dynamics that can surprise me.
The foremost I love characters that are smart. And with these everything can happen. I don't care if someone is taller or stronger or whatever the other is not and makes that one more 'effeminate".
That's why I love FrostIron as a pairing so much. Such smart characters and everything is possible. One is stronger, but has the more femine look, the other is only human, but has the braver heart. So you never know how these dynamics unfold in the bedroom. I love it.

When I started my LJ, I didn't even know there were fest about who tops or bottoms. Nowadays I refuse to follow these fests as I get high blood pressure when I read why someone's arse should be sacrosanct and the other's not so much. I totally agree that some characters and some stories lead to one way or the other. And yet, I love it when there is at least sometimes a bit variety in their penetrative love making (and their love making in general). I absolutely love it when the more powerful, dominant or whatever of a pairing is prone to let it all go when it comes to sex. If it's presented with reason, why not?

If one character loves it to be the bottom, they should totally go for it. I would probably too, where I a man, because a) I'm a lazy fuck and would love for the other to do most of the work (lol) and b) a prostate must make for a hell of a good time, and c) ah no, tmi.
If one loves to top, go for it. But a refusal to at least try it the other way is unimaginative and boring. It can't be the best relationship when one refuses to trust their partner that they would take care of their body.

Ah well, of course it's all related to the characters and where they come from. And yet I think everyone (no matter their gender) has enough of both sides in them; that they sometimes want to take what's presented to them and sometimes want to be taken.

I'll stop my rambling now. Intersting to see so many different views on the topic though. :D

[kitty_fic]

I'm really late to this party, but I think about top/bottom dynamics a lot, so this is a really interesting read! I can totally see your way of thinking and I'm thinking it might explain some of my own preferences also.